The Sixth Week
נצח
ִYesod
Foundation; Bonding or Connecting
Transformation through Intimacy
Bonding is on the same line of the mystical Tree of Life as Knowledge and Harmony. In the sphere of Knowledge, we become one with an idea. In Harmony, we’re doing in the heart what Knowledge does in the mind. Now, with Bonding, we duplicate that dynamic of connecting, but this time in the interpersonal arena.
In these connections, we’re looking for intimacy of some sort. That requires vulnerability, a putting aside of the ego: to know something intimately means to let go of your own way of knowing the world, and look at it from another perspective. You want to understand the thing as it is—not as you would like it to be. To love intimately means the same thing. If you don’t get your ego out of the way, someone else is not going to risk opening their heart to you. They don’t trust you, because the ego makes playthings of other’s most intimate lives. Similarly with Bonding: in order to be really intimate, you can have no agenda. A vision for something? Yes. Agenda? No![1]
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Bonding is the ultimate emotional connection. While the first five qualities (love, discipline, compassion, endurance and humility) are interactive, they manifest duality: the lover and the beloved. The emphasis is on an individual's feelings, not necessarily on mutuality.
Bonding, on the other hand, is a complete fusion of the two. Without bonding no feeling can be truly realized. Bonding means connecting; not only feeling for another, but being attached to the other. Not just a token commitment, but true devotion. It creates a channel between giver and receiver. Bonding is eternal. It develops a union that lives forever through the perpetual fruit it bears. Bonding is the foundation of life. The emotional spine of the human psyche. Every person needs bonding to flourish and grow. The bonding between mother and child; between husband and wife; between brothers and sisters; between close friends. Bonding is affirmation; it gives one the sense of belonging, that "I matter", that "I am significant and important". It establishes trust—trust in yourself and trust in others. It instils confidence. Without bonding and nurturing we cannot realize and be ourselves.
Bonding channels all five previous qualities into a constructive bond, giving it the meaning "foundation". Whereas all other human feelings are individual emotions, separate stories of a building, each a necessary component of human experience, bonding channels and integrates them all into one bond which creates a foundation upon which the structure of human emotions firmly stands. Bonding is giving all of yourself not just part; it is not one emotion but all of them. So Yesod completes the spectrum of the first six emotions.
The foundation of Yesod is different from an ordinary foundation. It does not just rest beneath the higher levels of the structure, but encompasses them all. An effective bedrock of the emotional psyche cannot remain separate but must include and permeate all the emotions. Only then can bonding be constructive and everlasting.[2]
Centre and Foundation
This week I honour the one at the centre of my thoughts, my feelings and my perceptions. I allow myself to appreciate this centre of my being by remaining open to the moment. I watch my judgements, my feelings, and my sensations. I welcome them from the centre of my individual self.
The Sefirah on the Tree of Life
Yesod represents the “Foundation” of our separate sense of self. It is the awareness that we call “ego”. This is the place of our nefesh, the level of soul which is associated with the body. In Malchut we tend to lose our sense of self, and identify with the aspects of the world we encounter. We identify with things, roles, possessions and with other people. At Yesod, we are able to discover the “I” of the storm, the identity from which we can most effectively act in the world.
Yesod is also the sefirah of generation, represented on the body by the genitals. The ego identity is the body identity, and the body identity is deeply connected to our sexuality. It is important to appreciate how an energy which supports life can also be turned against itself. As we move down the Tree, and the energies become more dense, there is greater need for fuller awareness.
Yesod is the Foundation from which Malchut, the manifestation, can flow. Psychologically, Yesod is the place of the individual identity called the ego. Here the essential identity needed for ensuring the individual biological survival of the organism is forged . Although the ego is often denigrated, it is not “bad”. Ego is required, and the stronger the ego, the better. It is the incomplete ego that seeks to usurp for itself power beyond it capabilities, and then to enter into the pretence of holding what it cannot by trying to control others and the world.
That Yesod is identified with sexuality is appropriate, for much of our individual identity is rooted there. Sexuality offers a clear reflection of the dilemma of our separate selves. We experience incompleteness and seek, as it were, our “other half” with which to know an exclusive completeness. Of course, that “other” which exists outside the self is a reflection of the “other half” hidden within us. When an ego discovers its own integrity, its own essential wholeness, then it can express its very being more clearly, and discover a fuller identity within which it itself will be held with compassion.
at Yesod is Shaddai or El Chai
אֵל חַי שָדַי
The Kabbalistic tradition assigns two names at Yesod—El Chai or Shaddai. We will use both of them in this meditative process. Shaddai (“The Almighty”) is a Name reflecting the power of G-d, and is the name inscribed on the outside of the mezuzah scroll, and often on the outside of the container affixed to the doorpost. The mezuzah is a small cylindrical container holding a hand-written parchment upon which several central verses from the Torah are inscribed. It is placed on the right side of a doorway (as one enters a home or a room). El Chai (The Living G-d” or “The G-d of Life”) is a “Life” name, drawing our awareness to the channelling of Life energy through the sefirah of Yesod.
Meditation for the Sixth Week at YESOD.
צָמְאָ֬ה נַפְשִׁ֨י לֵאלֹהִים֮ לְאֵ֪ל חָ֥יMy soul thirsts for El Chai. -- (Psalm 42:3)
וְאֵ֤ל שַׁדַּי֙ יְבָרֵ֣ךְ אֹֽתְךָ֔ (וְיַפְרְךָ֖ וְיַרְבֶּ֑ךָ וְהָיִ֖יתָ לִקְהַ֥ל עַמִּֽים׃)Let _El Shaddai_ bless you. -- (Genesis 28:3)
While we tend to denigrate the significance of the ego identity, this sefirah encourages a greater appreciation for the possibilities for which our separate self exists. The ego is a vehicle through whom more profound spiritual consciousness can connect to the manifest world. We each serve as a channel for the Life and for the Power of G-d. This week we focus on the promise contained within our individual identities.
This week we seek to more clearly to know, appreciate, and honour the shapes of our separate selves. The dynamic symbolism of the Tree of Life offers a model for a deeper understanding of the way mental, emotional and perceptual forms create our sense of self. We are seeking greater awareness, not to blame, but to better understand and appreciate. Our intention is to manifest more fully the true energies which we discover within ourselves.
During your meditations this week, become more aware of the self behind your experiences. Who is receiving the sensations, the feelings and the thoughts of which you are aware? Move through the impressions to the one who is receiving those impressions. Explore all your experiences to learn more about the central identity who has them.
Take Shaddai and El Chai as the sounds and the letter images upon which you focus today. As you focus on them, what do you experience? Explore these two names and the energies they carry.
Reflections
In this intimate love, there has to be agendas, if it is only to love the other, to provide the other pleasure, or to help them achieve their own ego-driven goals.
Once again, there is a masc/fem form of response – in the form of giving/receiving. In other words, one (fem) works towards creating the space in which this can occur. The other (masc) is more difficult to express, because it is the outward expression of this functioning “space”, and is judged by what the space produces and garners.
Footnotes
This confuses me. Firstly, the ego cannot work without an agenda, either its own, or some adopted agenda. It is a directed energy, a vector. If it does not have something to do, some goal to achieve, then it is either in limbo, (and unhappy) or supporting someone else, who is ego driven, achieve theirs. ↩︎
From a piece by Simon Jacobsen (on the Chabad website) ↩︎