מודה אני לפנך … שהכזרתה בי את נשמתי

"Thank you for returning my soul to me”

Bad people versus good people,
Lower soul fighting with upper soul —
Lower as further away, not higher or lower.

If bad people have certain characteristics,
that are ignored by good ones,
how do you deal with bad people
without becoming tainted?

Need regulations?
Will they help?
Will not the pull to the dark side
be so seductive, that few can resist it?

How can I express my feelings?
How can I know anything anymore?
There they are, and here I am.

No longer in control.
No one knows, no-one and no-thing.
Who am I to follow?
What do I hear?

In Emptying my head,
My mind becomes blanker and blanker,
Now I am no longer me.
Between the you and I, and the me and you,
There is nothing.

Not that you have become me, or me you.
The union that we all dream of,
Producing always the pain of separation,
and the reverberations of any movement
slice like a knife through my loving soul.

Are we truly separate
when there is no I and you?

I cannot find the correct words,
this thought is all jumbled inside.
I do not know anymore
which way is up and which way is down.

There are no markers to show me
whether I am on the correct path or
whether I should be on another.

We all just wing it.
Some of us hit the jackpot,
others hit the wall
but most just cruise.
While many, many struggle -
while laughing and dancing too.

I cannot see anything -
not separate, nor unified.
Not the one, nor the many.
It is all just happening
around me
and I reacting as best I can.

I do not know who I am.
I do not know what I am.

I only know that I am alive.
That we are all alive.
That is what we need to be.

Everyday I weep for us.
For our killing and hatred of one another.
For the senseless idea
that killing another will solve
any problem.

Yet many live by this rule,
and some even end up ruling.
It perpetuates itself.

Just one bad apple is all that is needed
to spoil the whole barrel.