Why Kabbalah

That is a very difficult question for me to answer because, from the first time I heard about it, in my early teens, it intrigued me. It was during a time when I was just encountering the concept (and possibility) of another reality, one that was intimately connected to this one. This was an exciting time, a time when so many fascinating concepts were falling at my feet. I was being showered with gifts from Zen Buddhism (Alan Watts, The Way of Zen; Christmas Humphreys, _Buddhism_etc) to Gestalt Therapy; from astral travelling to Krishnamurti and the theological society of Madame Blavatsky, et. al.

It was in the field of magic & mysticism that I encountered it. I had been investigating the idea of ghosts and spirits, when I read a book by Dennis Wheatley. It was so long ago that I do not remember the name of the book. It was a wonderful tale of the battle between the dark forces and the forces of light. There are two descriptions of occult ceremonies from the book that remain with me up to this day.

The first was one which spoke of the energies of the sephirot of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. {picture} The basic idea was one that claimed that certain magical ceremonies had to be done at specific times of the year as each sefira waxed and waned according to the moon cycle. That was the first time I encountered the moon as influencing energies of the psychic realm. It was as if a penny had dropped.

Having been brought up Jewish, we maintain a ceremony (or set of prayers in the modern situation) for the new moon (called "breichat ha'levana", the prayer to the white one (goddess?)). I always wondered why. The only influence, up till then, that I had heard of was the women's moon cycle. This idea of the influence of the planets (specifically the moon) on the power of the sephirot was fascinating.

The other ceremony was one in which a coven of 12 witches plus one male was described. In it he claimed that a coven generally consisted of 12 female witches forming a circle around the single male that was at the centre. The witches generally supported the male, and gave him energy, as well as protecting him while he journeyed into the etheric realm. However, the actual "projection" had to be done by a male. The idea was that he was like the artillary shell from the cannon.

This all fascinated me. In my tradition we are forbidden from engaging in magic, however, this portal through the Kabbalistic Tree of Life was an a possible doorway for me to enter this realm. I have since investigated magic and magical phenomenon, and still stand by the Kabbalah as a road into these realms for through all these years, it has stood by me, continuously feeding and nourishing my deep desire to understand the core principles of the world I live in. Or, at minimum, have a richer language with which to describe the Indescribable.

And at maximum, to have an actual meeting with the Ineffable.

That is because I feel that unless one approaches the heavens humbly and gratefully there is much there that can lead one astray. The context of Judaism with its containment keeps me safe. Thus my major source and area of exploration has been through the Kabbalah, which, I believe, has kept me sane and safe. Remember, Kabbalah is a tradition that is almost a thousand years old, and is based on a tradition that is far older. Surely, over the millennia the cruft would have fallen away, and one would be left with a more polished and clear pathway by now? Admittedly, the holocaust caused a serious reduction in living teachers, but there is plenty of literature, most of it obtuse, that exists to help the aspirant. And the modern day translations and research into the topic is top-notch, as long as the author is from a clear tradition, preferably Judaic.

The Tree

The tree has ten nodes which are called sefirot. Although it is referred to as a tree, it does not look like one. That is because it is based on the Tree of Life that is mentioned in the Torah. This Tree of Life has been found in many earlier cultures as well, though never have I seen anything remotely similar to the Kabbalistic Tree of Life appear.

However, if one examines the Tree diagram, there is a central trunk from which branches extend. The difference is that those branches are not free but they connect (and one could say, end or are limited by) two columns, one on either side of the central column. They represent force and form, the expanding and the contracting, masculine & feminine—the dualities by which our reality is formed and determined.

If one looks at the tree, removing the outer verticals, one gets something that looks like a spiral, rather than a tree and branches. Perhaps it is a two-dimensional version of the three-dimensional tree?

Language

If one's vocabulary was more restricted or less evolved than it is today, one could refer to this diagram as a tree graph. For it does have brances and is made up of vertices and edges. These edges are known as sephirot and the vertices as pathways, forming the thirty-two paths of wisdom. There are other concepts that have emerged that enable a greater understanding of the meanings of the sephirot and their relationships, for which one needs the Hebrew alphabet to comprehend.

Geometry

How has this pursuit helped me, and why does it continue to fascinate me? Firstly there was a resonance between what I was finding in Kabbalah, and secondly, what emerged out of me, led me time and again to the same meal. In order to find some security in our society, I pursued the study of Mathematics. I have come to see the universe as geometrical (to put it simply). Or rather that geometry is a language through which we can discover some of the deep secrets of the universe around us. And the Tree as a key, is essential.

If everything that is manifest can be described as geometrical, the unseen forces that move these geometrical entities about are not themselves geometrical but more amplitudinal.

Relationship with G-d

Perhaps I am a romantic, and harbour a dream of being able to enter into some sort of relationship, and even dialogue with the consciousness that is at the root of our existence.

Perhaps I am a fool. We are here in this realm in order to carry out a certain task. It behooves us to focus on our task, and not be distracted by wanting to return to the womb, to once again float in the ocean of (non-)existence. This desire to be in connection with the Source of our Reality will be satisfied once I have completed my task on earth, which, I believe could possibly take lifetimes.

Perhaps even to believe in such a Consciousness us a romantic fantasy! However, I cannot reconcile with the idea that I am nothing, and this life that I experience is meaningless. That beyond the "I", I am aware of, there is nothing. Or that this existence, finite as it is, has no "source", and is just a random perturbation in the unfolding universe... which must have come from somewhere.

But, to speak the honest truth, I feel it in my bones. My cells vibrate with Its song, with what It says about the worlds and places whose hidden influences we feel all the time. If we spend enough time in stillness, and then am just still, I can feel/see the vibration of every little movement I make, every feeling and thought I do have.

Especially now, as I have since moved into the country, and spend most of my days in deep silence. It is from this place of silence that I can hear the voice of the energy around us and inside me.

It is like the "microwave" energy that permeates the universe and has permeated since the Creation (which we call today by the descriptive term the "Big Bang"). One could even think about this microwave energy as the "voice of G-d"—not really the voice, almost the reverberations of His Voice. Another form of kind of esoteric energy that science has stumbled upon, they have termed "dark energy". Which essentially means unknown energy. Just as Africa was "dark Africa" before we "discovered" it. It was always there. We just didn't have the capability of finding it until we were ready. This most subtle energy is beyond light energy, though one could refer to it by its old name, the æther — which could translate to "realm of light"— or even the bridge to the angelic realm, or perhaps it is just a gap inherent in some mathematical description that has yet to be discovered.